it's hard for me to reconcile the world that i perceive and the one that exists. i'm caught between the two and it's breaking me apart. the only comfort that i have is to create an illusion that keeps my hopes up, but i know that i'm keeping the truth from myself.
i'm a mosaic of dreams that shatter and crumble. as i grow older and realize how fragile i am, i become more hesitant to put the pieces back together. but as i do, i save the small but special pieces that glitter and shine for those i love most and leave myself with only the modest remainder. i can create new dreams but each iteration becomes a little safer and less spontaneous. the prospects of that happening frightens me and i cling desperately to old and idealistic dreams fated for failure. and i know that.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
from the diary of sargent pepper
the most poignant and beautiful moments spent in one's life are lived alone and while contemplating emptiness. it is in these moments that i've realized what it is to be human: singularly broken; collectively redeemed. upon such a revelation, humans become enamored by the pursuit of the one true love they've been promised to become a "whole" being.
during the course of a life, individuals appear that seem so exciting and wonderful that the heart races each time their name is spoken and it's hard not to look as they walk by. it may seem like the world has given you a sign, but this individual is often times preoccupied with finding their own "right one" and, subsequently, they may care very little for any future prospects that include yourself.
that is the hardest sell, to create the brand of "you" that is desirable to another human being. if we sit on the shelf long enough looking down our noses at potential buyers, we soon learn that our expiration date is also steadily coming closer and closer. we scramble to accept the first person that we can see ourselves living with but this individual just won't radiate the same magic the others had.
wasn't that the point of trying to find another person? someone whose eyes reflect all the lights back like diamonds and whose arms could cradle your whole world. it's heartbreaking and sobering but look at what wonderful music we make while wandering alone.
during the course of a life, individuals appear that seem so exciting and wonderful that the heart races each time their name is spoken and it's hard not to look as they walk by. it may seem like the world has given you a sign, but this individual is often times preoccupied with finding their own "right one" and, subsequently, they may care very little for any future prospects that include yourself.
that is the hardest sell, to create the brand of "you" that is desirable to another human being. if we sit on the shelf long enough looking down our noses at potential buyers, we soon learn that our expiration date is also steadily coming closer and closer. we scramble to accept the first person that we can see ourselves living with but this individual just won't radiate the same magic the others had.
wasn't that the point of trying to find another person? someone whose eyes reflect all the lights back like diamonds and whose arms could cradle your whole world. it's heartbreaking and sobering but look at what wonderful music we make while wandering alone.
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