it's hard for me to reconcile the world that i perceive and the one that exists. i'm caught between the two and it's breaking me apart. the only comfort that i have is to create an illusion that keeps my hopes up, but i know that i'm keeping the truth from myself.
i'm a mosaic of dreams that shatter and crumble. as i grow older and realize how fragile i am, i become more hesitant to put the pieces back together. but as i do, i save the small but special pieces that glitter and shine for those i love most and leave myself with only the modest remainder. i can create new dreams but each iteration becomes a little safer and less spontaneous. the prospects of that happening frightens me and i cling desperately to old and idealistic dreams fated for failure. and i know that.
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